As parents, we want to raise kids who will be able to cope in life. We want our kids to ‘deal effectively with something difficult’. That, by definition, is what coping is. Coping is the ability to overcome challenges with success. It is the ability to know how to solve problems that arise in everyday life and to be able to bounce back well.
Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb but how well you bounce ~ Vivian Komori
Life is supposed to be ‘up’ and ‘down’ and it is for kids too. The challenge is not falling too far into the ‘down’ that we experience anxiety and depression and not wanting to stay in the ‘up’ all the time as that is the impulse of an addict. The world is full of challenges for our kids. On a daily basis, they are learning how to deal with situations on the playground, in social groups, at home, at sporting events, extra curricular activities and in the classroom. Our job as parents is to provide our kids with the ‘right’ skills and strategies to deal with these challenges and set up the foundations for coping mechanisms now that will carry them into adulthood.
Here are 49 practical ways to raise kids who will cope.
1. Teach kids it is OK to fail. Look at a failure as an opportunity to learn, rather than a mistake.
2. Teach kids to tie their shoelaces
3. Teach kids to go to the toilet on their own early
4. Teach kids to get dressed, especially into their school clothes
5. Kids need to feel disappointment to know how to get over it
6. Give kids increasing, age appropriate independence so when they leave home
they are ready
7. Build a solid relationship with your child so you are a resource to help solve challenges
8. Build a solid relationship with your child so they know how to build one when the time comes
9. Teach children to read
10. Teach children to write
11. Children need to learn how to catch a ball, run and ride a bike
12. Provide the right nutrition, love, sleep and movement from the very beginning
13. Take your kids out to many and varied places to build their schema
14. Teach your child how to be empathetic and compassionate by doing it yourself
15. Teach kids how to recognize big emotions – anger, sadness, disappointment,
excitement and happiness and work with them to find strategies to deal with each
16. Let your kids solve their own problems from an early age and help them with the strategies and tools
17. Allow your kids to take age-appropriate risk like walking to the corner store or climbing a tree and at the safe time teach safety
18. Let kids play on their own and in nature
19. Allow kids be kids – not mini adults
20. Tell your kids you love them often (at least once a day)
21. Help kids find strategies to relax and reduce stress levels
22. Allow kids to find their ‘joy’ and do it often
23. Talk to your kids and laugh with your kids
24. Listen to your kids no matter how big or small their conversation is
25. Teach your kids to listen to you and each other
26. Have fun over and over again with your kids so they know how to have fun too
27. Teach your kids how to swim
28. Teach your kids how to clean up after themselves, make their beds, put the
garbage out, cook and grow a vegetable garden
29. Show your kids how to love
30. Appreciate the beauty of nature so your kids will
31. Be on time and teach your kids the importance of being organized
32. Teach your kids that effort is more important than intelligence because that is how intelligence grows
33. Allow your kids to have down time, often
34. Provide many and varied ways for your kids to use their imagination and creativity
35. Teach kids about money: what it looks like, how to make it and how to use it
36. Teach your kids that life is not about what you have but about who you are
37. Kids need to know how to love themselves and shape a positive inner critic early
38. Give kids time to play with their friends and siblings
39. The best gift you can give your kids is your time because presence is far more important than presents
40. Give kids age appropriate choices so they will be able to problem solve later on
41. Model and encourage courage and bravery
42. Teach your child how to dream big and believe in themselves and also to believe in the higher
order (what ever that might be)
43. Let you kids try lots of different food and know the importance of food to nourish and to share
44. Talk about different cultures, religions, countries and people, without judgment
45. Teach your kids how to be kind
46. Don’t control your kids every move or be too hard on them
47. Teach kids how to negotiate fairly and know when to stand up and back down
48. Teach kids to be curious and life long learners
49. Teach your kids manners and when to be serious and when to have fun
We need to raise this generation of children to thrive in the current environment, not just survive. With the right tools and strategies in place, our kids will be able to navigate the ups and downs of life and cope well with the difficult situations they face.
Anna Partridge is a parent educator, school teacher and mother to 3 children. She helps parents raise confident and resilient kids through the positive parenting philosophy. Anna writes about the modern parenting dilemmas on her blog, www.annapartridge.com and is a regular contributor at The Huffington Post. Find her on Facebook here .
This post originally appeared on The Huffington Post on 13 March 2016.
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