I often talk about the importance of ‘finding the big picture of parenting’. But what is the ‘big picture’ and how do you find it? As we move in to 2015, it is a good time to review what it means to be a mum and to be an awesome mum.
The ‘big picture of parenting’ is the opposite to ‘everyday parenting’.
Everyday parenting is what you do in your day. If you are stuck in the rut of everyday parenting – things often feel hard. You look at your day and you wonder how you are going to get the kids ready on time to get to school, do the school drop off, go to work, do the school pick up, deal with the billion fights that happen between siblings, walk the dog, cook dinner while going through witching hour, welcome your husband home, get the kids to bed, then fold the washing, pack the dishwasher – that is the every day. Where is the fun? Where is the joy of being a mother in that?
The ‘big picture’ is seeing outside the everyday and working towards a goal. It is knowing what habits, values and beliefs are important to you and making everything you do with your kids being about reaching that intention. It is about building resilience, confident, self esteem, creating memories and knowing that your children are only little once.
So how do you find your ‘big picture’? You write a mothering manifesto!
Manifesto. noun. A written statement to publicly declare your intentions, motives or beliefs. From the Latin Manifestus – to manifest, to clearly reveal to make real.
As a mum you need to know what you stand for, what you believe in and what is important for you. Knowing all this about you will help you know what to habits, values and beliefs you will instill into your children. If you have ever worked in a business, it is similar to an organizations mission statement but your very own. I have had so much fun working with mums this past 6 months to find their Mothering Manifesto and here is the formula.
So, how do you write your own mothering manifesto to find out what your intentions, motives or beliefs are?
Here are a couple of easy steps.
Firstly, write WHAT you believe in.
Start with ‘I believe…….’
What are your beliefs about raising your children?
It could be ‘I believe it is important for my children to play outdoors and be a part of nature.’ or ‘I believe it is that children are a gift’ or ‘I believe that a healthy lifestyle is the most important thing for my children’.
This section can include beliefs, habits and values.
Other sentence starters here might be ‘I want to live in a world where…’, ‘My values are…’, ‘I want my children to….’ or ‘I know that…’.
Write 3 to 4 sentences here.
Secondly, write HOW you intend to instil the beliefs, habits and values
Start with ‘As a parent, I need to….’
So it might be ‘As a parent, I need to…. keep my kids safe by holding their hand when they cross the road’.
Or ‘As a parent, I will ensure my children have manners. I will teach them to say please and thank you every time they are given something.’
Then, ‘As a mum, I need to….
So it might be ‘As a mum, I need to teach my child empathy. To do this I will sit him on my knee and sing him songs every night.
You need to be clear on your role as a parent and your role as a mum.
Other sentence starters might be ‘I am prepared to change x to get to x…’, ‘I can get to x by…’ or ‘My children will…’.
Write 3 to 4 sentences here.
Lastly, write your FUTURE focus
Finish the sentence, ‘I aspire to be a mum who is….’
It might be ‘I aspire to be a mum who is a role model for my girls. I will show my girls that they can be anyone they want to be and I will give them the education they need to get there’.
Other sentence starters here are ‘I am grateful that…’, ‘My families future will be…’, ‘I can see that…’ or ‘I want to live…’.
Write 2 or 3 sentences here.
Done! You have just written you first Mothering Manifesto.
I had so much fun creating mine a few weeks ago. You can read it here http://annapartridge.com/my-mothering-manifesto/
Check out further inspiration here from a mother/business women, Caroline Cain here http://www.carolinecain.com/manifesto/
Want to share it? I would love to read it… email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Still stuck on finding the ‘big picture’? I would love to help you set your big picture of being an awesome mum in 2015… my job as a parent educator is to work with mums to help them find their ideal parenting style by identifying their ‘go to’ habits, values and beliefs and set a plan in place to achieve it. If this is you, get in contact via my website www.annapartridge.com.
About the Author: Anna Partridge
Anna Partridge is mum to three beautiful, highly spirited children aged 9, 8 and 5. She created BombardedMum to share the inspirations and joys about raising the next generation and to allow mums to think about the ‘big picture’ of parenting by providing tips and advice to instil the right habits, values and beliefs in their children from the start.
Anna is a Parent Educator, holds a Bachelor of Education (Primary), a Bachelor of Communications and is a freelance parenting writer. She is privileged to work alongside families to create calm and balance, help raise confident and resilience kids and maintain strong and connected relationships. Anna offers private parenting and family coaching at www.annapartridge.com.